What are the struggles of a firefighter marriage?

#firefighter #firefighters #marriage #spouse #Stress

Once the glamour wears off, and reality sets in, it's not for everyone.

You have to be able to deal with the long hours away from home, the midnight pager wakeup calls and the reality that your spouse may not come home from a shift or a call.

Facebook fans were asked to share some struggles they've encountered in their firefighter marriages. Read the responses below. And remember, as tough as it is, spouse support means everything.

Trust as a female firefighter in a new relationship. It’s hard to explain to the new boyfriend the closeness between me and my fellow brothers.

Not being able to tell your spouse about your calls, because you don't want them to worry about you.

Getting others to understand that our time is our time. My husband is a volunteer and he also works 12-hour shifts as a jailer. The time we get is so rare and so precious! We make sure to have at least one day, every two weeks, completely devoted to us.

Time management. I am a wife of a volunteer, we have four children, and he has a full-time job. Finding time to spend together is hard. We have one other rule: no fire station talk at home.

Long hours and his grumpiness.

My beloved and precious spouse is not super happy about my neglect of our family in favor of spending time preparing for and responding to other people's emergencies, especially considering there is no paycheck involved. Who could blame her?

I'm career and I find it hard to express and connect on things I've seen or gone through.

Feeling like I raise our kids by myself.

Terror that your significant other will not come home.

My husband does not like the pager going off in the middle of the night.

We want to hear from you too. Post your comments below.

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  • Genna on

    My husband is in his 13th year as a FF. He has taken full time work as a police officer and moved FF part time. It is critical for your marriage to have open communication and vent time. I listen to the bad calls, crazy calls, and anything else he needs to talk about. Sometimes he’s moody, easily agitated, and very tired. Having 3 kids and a full time job myself makes it a bit more challenging. A lot of time at the station and trainings for both careers. He loves what he does and I love him.

  • Amber on

    I am married to a volunteer firefighter and he also works another job working 12 hour shifts. I am very proud of him and support him because he is doing what he loves!! He hopes to soon become a career FF!!!

  • greg on

    Having your partner check VM of calls when you are out of state on a ver, very rare weekend together!

  • John Carabin on

    As chaplain and as a fire fighter I deal with the event and then I have to deal with the aftermath. Along with the sometimes neglect my poor wife has to deal with me. I don’t let her know all of what we see/go through but she can tell it wears on me and it hurts her to not be able to help.

  • Shawn on

    I am a Volunteer FF. I would have to say that the hardest part for my wife to understand is the time spent at the station even when we are not on a call. I mean as far as training, and the many things that we have to do to raise the funds to keep the station going. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s not just responding to calls. It’s working bingo, gun raffles, car shows, ect… there is a lot of time that goes into all of that stuff and that is the thing my wife just don’t get.

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